A Letter to the Second Time Mama

Hello You,

You did!

You delivered a beautiful baby girl. Okay, so you didn’t get the home birth you wanted but you both are safe which is the most important thing .

She is utterly gorgeous and the missing piece of the puzzle.

She is going to change everything you just wait and see.

She will make you calmer, she will push you out of your comfort zone and remind you that you can do anything. She will prove to you what an amazing Mum you really are and she will remind you not to compare yourself to others because you’ve got this.

The choices you make will be because you believe they are right for her, not because someone said you should be doing it or because they worked first time round with your first born Finn. Although it is going to take some time for you to work that out. Motherhood doesn’t come with a manual, so throw all those books away.  You don’t need them. Trust your instinct, its your greatest ally.

Give yourself some time to get to know her. Its been you and Finn for two years and you know him pretty well. It is now time for you to get to know her too. It will make things so much easier. You will learn quickly what she likes and what she doesn’t like – don’t just assume. Give her time to be her. She is truly a wonderful human being and a little extension of you.

There will come a time, when you need help so just ask. It is not a failure to reach out, its human. We all know how difficult it is to look after a 2 year old and a newborn but take comfort in the fact the older they get, the easier it will become. They will be best friends and look out for each other. Their bond will because you have created it. So feel proud.

BIGGEST TIP, don’t attempt to potty train Finn 6 weeks after Olivia’s birth. Its such a bad idea. We know he will get it easily but its not the time or place. Sod the baby-led approach. Give yourself a break. You deserve it. You are not Wonder Woman. I know you will ignore this.

You & your baby girl will be inseparable and there will come a time with you need a break. Don’t let guilt trick you into thinking its wrong to take some time out.  The guilt you feel will not last and taking time out will give you the lift you need and make you appreciate everything you have.

Your lovely husband is your rock, you’re in it together so lean on him but give him a break too. Look after him as much as he is looking after you. Tell him you love him a little more because he’s on this journey too.

My parting words for you are give less of a shit, love hard, laugh harder, trust yourself, embrace time and be proud.

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